Some realities

D/s relationships are sublime, I agree with that, but what they are not is easy. Each Domme develops her relations based on her preferences, her rules, her desires... but it's not a fairy tale.

For a submissive, for example, the goal is to surrender to his Domme (and be accepted for her), but take into account that what might not be so easy is to adapt himself to his new condition of being a property. To be owned by someone is not just wear a nice collar, but that collar means a genuine commitment to the Owner.

And from the other side of the leash, other things happen. Sometimes we get involved in training, we strive to mold the submissive and finally incompatibilities arise, or the sub may even decide to disappear without even giving explanations of his behavior (that has happened to all of us), doesn't matter how many communication routes we open.

"I will be what you want" sounds great on paper, but if my wishes prevent him to watch the match with his buddies, if he has to assume that his sex is no longer "his sex" but mine (with the certainty that it will be me who grant or deny), if he finds that will have to perform tasks that he doesn't like, if he has to wait to be required, if he must let me know his moves and many more etceteras, perhaps he no longer feel so attracted to "be what I want him to be."

His obligation is make me happy, to serve me, but if, after commissioning the relationship, the submissive is not happy doing it, the expiration date of that relationship is very close.

Meet halfway

And we continue with the eternal struggle of who has it longer.

For some FemDom (and BDSM) is a lifestyle and for others is a simple matter of sex with additives. Where is the scandal?

I read bitter fights on both positions, each defending his own and attacking the other as if their life depended on it.

Maybe I'm weird, although I would call it "tolerant" but to me both options seem well, because this is to enjoy, not to impose on others our criterion.

It would be interesting to see if all these staunch defenders of lifestyle really live it every minute of their lives, or if they have a vanilla life first of all... or if all who claim that this is only about sex can keep it away from their minds when they are with their wives (or hubbies).

I've chosen to live FemDom as my lifestyle because it's the way that really fills me (and I'm consistent with it, ie I don't limit myself to brag about it), but it doesn't mean that everyone has the obligation to do so.

Why not live it anyhow and let others do the same without cutting off their jugular vein? Accept that nobody is forced to anything and we involve ourselves as far as we want (and we can).

If someone is happy with an occasional session because it's all he wants, because that's as far as he wants to reach, because he is not interested in our philosophy and finds a happy partner enjoying rough sex, staging roles and situations, it doesn't mean he's an outlaw, but he is someone who lives his sexuality as he pleases.

Alternative sexuality

Most submissives who contact us seeks instant satisfaction. In fact, although I don't know the exact numbers, the percentage of people who arrive to FemDom and BDSM looking for sex sites on the internet is incredibly high.

There is nothing wrong with entering porn sites (unless you're under control and have no such permits :D). The sex industry keeps moving masses every minute.

But, although FemDom is for many of us an alternative lifestyle in which sex has a lot to do, either forcing, manipulating, denying it, strengthening it, playing with the desire or as each one wants to live it, it's not just sex.

Nor it's a purely aesthetic matter. I am very fetishist, but do not sleep corseted and in high heels ;)

Whether I'm practicing a genital torture, an especially hard spanking or imposing a chastity device, for example, I enjoy it much more if the recipient of my whims does so in the conviction of being surrendered to me and not just 'cause he's sexually aroused because I use him from time to time.

An ejaculation, an orgasm, are great, but if there's nothing else, everything ends when climax is reached.

Just a reminder

At this point and, after so many similar requests, I have to remind you (again) that I'm also a Financial Domme and that my time is valuable.

Want a conversation with me to tell me your problems, confess your sins, tell me about your fantasies or show me your respect on Skype or Yahoo? Follow the instructions on the Serve Me tab on my website.

I do not add or accept anyone who does not follow the steps listed there.

These instructions apply to both those who aspire to be mine as for anyone wishing to consult any question, a problem, a desire, a fantasy or just a relaxed conversation.

Here I am providing an every day completely free space, I upload my photos, I tell you bits of my life and share my opinions. I receive many emails and private messages on social networks wherein you tell me many things. And I like you to do so, it's sign that you read me, but if I'd answer everyone in writing, would be glued to the screen the whole day.

You can talk or chat with me about anything in real time, just do it under my rules ;)

Love or desire

Even decorated with words like love, for example, sexual desire is a primal instinct. I'm not saying they can not go together, but are often confused with each other.

Libido (desires and pulsions) is influenced by factors as diverse as (and I quote just a few) physical and hormonal state, the climate, the way we perceive the object of desire, dreams, conscious and unconscious fantasies...

Infatuation is fleeting, its duration depends on the value you assign to your loved one.

There are also partial sexual instincts: oral, anal, exhibitionism, voyeurism, sadism...

Where do I want to go? Those "I love you" some people say so blithely neither cause the same effect on everyone nor have the same meaning for everyone. I have heard them so many times that my attention is probably more focused on the sound of falling rain if both sounds coincide simultaneously, ie, do not cause me a significant reaction. And certainly not when who says it is someone who has not my confidence.

Many men throw an "I love you" because, perhaps because of their socio-cultural background or because they have seen it in a silly movie, they believe it is what any woman wants to hear, forgetting that not all women are the same.

I maintain affective relationships with several of my slaves but, you know, the dog loves you, the Cat allows you to love Her ;)

Once upon a time...

One day, someone looking for chat rooms to give a little spice to his boring daily life, find others talking about something called BDSM.

At first he was a little scared at the mention of sadomasochism (there are so extrange people on the internet...), but something manages to catch his attention, he is attracted to "test" a little those forbidden honeys completely anonymously, with a simple nick not even registered, or a thousand other different nicks with which he can snoop without his identity is compromised.

Observes users, but he is fascinated by a series of rules and behaviors that, those who seem most knowledgeable, respect and even strictly require others.

His thoughts fly and genitals respond amazingly to the possibility of the forbidden, but does not dare more than the odd private exchange with other curious wankers and will not be repeated after the timely ejaculation, although sometimes some are clumsy enough and has to resort to solitary masturbation after a failed private.

But a whole new world has opened his eyes and decides to investigate. What is my role? Do I have a role? When informed that the initial capital letter is indicative of the Dominant role, tries to login with all his nick in lowercase to see what happens.

He likes others to have the initiative, but realizes that using the initial capital letter, they receive him with more education. And so he goes testing until he invents his character with a number of details because, since it is now an expert, he played with class and will get overwhelmed all those nerds new arrive not knowing what a Dominant is, what have believed?

And thus a virtual MegaMaster is born, who will defend to the hilt his Dominant nature, but who will have to turn off the computer when his little wife send him to bed, who will cry for the corners because he spent two hours trying to get hold of a submissive and although was willing to give her his collar, she disappeared, who will crawl in Dominas privates when the opportunity arises and, when he returns from his temporary separation from his playground, will return as a learned who should be pay homage.

And red bunting ... :)

Happy BDSM Intenational Day!

Today is the day of BDSM international celebration and there are parties and events throughout the globe.

It is the day we celebrate our alternative sexuality and our alternative way to live and enjoy our lives.

I wish you all a wonderful day and I hope to see many of you at the party organized by The Oasis Of Sado on Taboo room in Madrid, 19 Moreno Nieto Street.

We will be receiving friends and new incorporations from 21:00 h. and enjoying the event, since it is the last of the summer season for us, as we take holiday until September.

See you tonight!

Lastest BDSM events

It's Saturday again and tonight's party in the dungeon, with the performance Gloryhole. Marqués de Zas and NeFeR will delight us with a new and unique representation designed to The Oasis Of Sado. We start at 23:00, do not be late or we'll begin without you :D

After this event, there will be only other one next week, 24/7, BDSM International Day on Thursday in Taboo.

I will need complacent submissives (that always, avoid missing), I've got tasks for them because, in addition to performance there is so much to do ... ;)

We'll count with the assistance of Nasero, BDSM toys craftsman and friend of the group, who will bring some of his creations, like the new codline I commissioned for friends (I'll must premiere it, lol) and other things he does on request.

In these months of events we have gathered a diverse group of related to BDSM and we are pleased to see that someone new always comes to know us and enjoy the evenings. And I still say more, who test, repeats.

See you tonight? :)

Pride

Spent more than a year and a half writing here every day. I share snippets of my life in pictures and words. I don't tell you everything, of course, there are things that belong to my privacy and will stay there.

But do not hide because there is nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of, quite the contrary, I am proud of who I am.

Some accept me, even some admire me, others reject me and even envy me for having the gall to live as I please. It never rains to everyone's taste, but that's not my problem. When it rains, I allow any of my pooches hold my umbrella or, if none is near, I hold myself for though not used to do many of these everyday and routine things, also can do if necessary.

Although I am whimsical with my slaves and my mind never rests, there are days when a fun movie or a good book are enough to feel wonderfully, although it is true that there are other days when I need a lot of action ;)

I posted here an article some time ago about my sexual orientation, so you already know it, but today is the International Gay Pride Day and I encourage tolerance towards gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, pansexual, transsexual, transgender and others. I leave the programming of these parties in Madrid; there are performances and attractions throughout the city these days: Madrid Gay Pride 2014

I'll start with Spanking Party tonight with The Oasis Of Sado ;)

And great day arrived

Tonight we have private BDSM party in the dungeon, but not only that, but also Marqués de Zas and Nefer will delight us with an original performance that is at the height of the most demanding minds imagination.

I'm not going to reveal the contents, you have to come to enjoy a surprising staging. Although I don't think staging or performance define exactly what will cook tonight because they not only act, but feel and enjoy what they do.

As usual, we offer free drinks while supplies last (that will not be few), all the fun attendees want, very our conversations, games ... all for a well adjusted contribution so that everyone can afford.

We will also have the birthday celebration of one of the members of the group The Oasis Of Sado, so there will be cake and much more.

The party starts at eleven o'clock at night and we ask punctuality in the interest of proper functioning of the evening and everything is running as planned. Note that no drinks will be served during the performance, which starts at 12, so come early to order yours or you'll wait until it finishes, because no one will want to miss.

I have no doubt it will be a perfect night, will you wait somebody tell you about it or have already booked your place? ;)

High Heels

Promised is debt, so here you have some pictures from the other day with Ama_Eva. It was a very pleasant and enjoyable afternoon. Judge for yourselves ;)

But today is the birthday of someone special, someone whose nick I took borrowed to title this entry.

Happy Birthday, my favorite Fetichistsaur! I'm not in Madrid right now, but I wish you a new year full of fetish, friends and happiness. We will celebrate it in the event on Friday 25 at the Dungeon. Keep on Fetishing! lol

 

 

Whatever we choose

I find it curious (to say the least) them to tell me what serious and strict I am talking about FemDom. Well, I'm not just "talking about" but I am living it.

I am very clear and long ago I decided to be consistent with what I want and how I want it. Over the years I've been delving into my lifestyle, because that's exactly for me, my lifestyle.

When something fills us and makes us happy, we're doing an increasingly big hollow in our lives. For some this gap is a few hours a week and for others it's something that we live every day. I guess there are several groups: those who are excited imagining, those that join in the action and those who don't want to live any other way.

For some FemDom is limited to walk by social networks and chats with a submissive to everyone can see how much and good they dominate, but is their choice and, if that's what they enjoy, all is well. Some prefer sex sessions with a bit of spanking and that's great if both parts enjoy with it, just as a purely vanilla relationship is wonderful in which the members are happy that way.

I like things in my own way and, away from forcing anyone to agree with me, share them on a blog.

We can not know what will happen in the future, evidently, but today yes, I am serious about my convictions. I am not better than anyone else for living 24/7 and having a stable of slaves. Nor worse. It's just my choice.

Power of attraction

Usually in our subconscious shoot certain springs, archetypes (patterns of thought) that trigger our instincts.

But the erotic and sexual attraction is unpredictable. Appearance, smell, tone of voice, body languages... the trigger can be the most unexpected. Not to mention the fetishes of each.

You can have preferences for the type of woman you like and show affection towards dependent and passive women, with a social and cultural level similar to yours, with certain physical characteristics...

But suddenly comes this Woman might not fit your ideal of beauty, sure of herself and proud of it, she doesn't need you, maybe whimsical, proud, smiling, with a strong character, not easy to impress. And all your patterns are disrupted.

Obviously, you seek the reciprocity of that attraction. Everything will stay in fantasy if you don't get that who attracts you feels any interest to you. So you try to get her attention by attitudes, interests and opinions. And maybe the fact that to catch her eye is not dependent on you be one more nutrient to such attraction you feel.

It is a hypothetical caseal, though very often, but... have you already realize that you could become that woman's submissive if she wanted to use her power over you? :)

Sex: grant/denial

It's funny (how diplomatic I am sometimes) hear some submissives (more than I'd like) to talk about the wonders they see in videos and how much they would like a Domme would make them that.

There are very good clips of real Dommes, but don't talk about those, no, they speak of those in which the beautiful actresses (Santa does not exist, face it) perform much sex and much of what can attract a male.

Imagination is free and we all have fantasies, but is heavy that you arrive to a Domme and tell her all you want her to do unto you when a submissive is to serve her (with or without sex) and when it does not depend on your desires, but hers.

There are submissives who doesn't inspire me more sex than deny it, enclosing his penis in a chastity device and holding the keys, others over whom I exercise my sadism and others I use sexually when and how I please . Even to the latter I can drive them crazy with constant tease and denial for my amusement. But for me (and many others) is not arriving, have a drink and destroy the room or dungeon, but much more than satiate your desire and your interests.

Sex is the basis of our instincts and I consider myself a sensual and sexual woman, but sex is not what I look for in a submissive. If I am not attracted to your inner (or your penis prevents you to show what you have inside), what makes you think that staging your fantasies is a priority for me?

Swingers and BDSM

Without wishing to belittle anyone, 'cause any form of enjoyment is completely valid, there are major differences between the collective of swingers and the one of BDSM.

Many swingers also perform some BDSM practices (and vice versa). There is nothing strange in this, no one has exclusivity of anything and everyone decides what to do with his life. However swinger and specifically FemDom, have little in common.

From my point of view, and I speak from my personal experience, there is some underhanded rejection (and sometimes not so underhanded) by swingers towards Femdom. Of course, there is everything, I'm generalizing, don't get nervous, but the vast majority of swingers (men) are decanted to offer their partners (women) in exchange for partner (female) of the neighboring of table, bed, mat or jacuzzi, while they (women) accept and everything ends in sex.

And it's great that we all enjoy our sexuality as we please, am not criticizing, just exposing my opinion.

The swinger enjoys sex with additives, while in FemDom and BDSM, plus a certain practice, there is a whole philosophy. For me, FemDom is my lifestyle, not a punctual sexual game.

A few days ago I put a comment on a social network requesting not add me to swinger groups because, although I have absolutely nothing against them and there are lovely people in this collective with whom I get along wonderfully, I'm no a swinger, I am a FemDom.

I live polyandry, not follow conventionalism and enjoy sex but, of course, with who I want, how, where and when I want, but I've never been a swinger. And I'm not saying I'm better or worse, no, it comes to we do and live different things.

Morbidity and desire

Desire makes us vibrate, makes everything acquires a special color.

Everything is different when that tingling is installed in our entrails and feed the morbid anticipating things to come.

That wicked smile that makes my dark side glimpse, that makes my imagination fly towards what I want and how I want it.

Sometimes there is not a trigger defined or too specific. A look, a word, a smell, a memory, a call ... and morbidity appears moving on from the abstract state to become a compelling physical sensation.

That mental game to subdue a slave boosting his maddening desire, wonderful tease and denial, sensuality, sexuality, voracity.

But what can I tell you about desire, little morbid? Are you able to have read these few sentences carefully without remembering hot moments, undeterred? ;)

The eroticism of a gesture, the texture of the skin, the sound of a whip, an exciting message you do not expect...

Satisfaction

Normally, the submissive without (or with little) experience, understands the "satisfy the Mistress" as providing certain number of orgasms. And we all are asked whether we have sex with our submissives or slaves.

That question says a lot of the one who formulates it because I do not rule out the sex of my relationship with my properties, but is not sex what I expect of them, plus I can have direct sex, indirect, I can demand it from him, I can deny it to hoard it for me, or delete it completely to my whim.

In my day to day there is sex if I feel like, if I want to grant, deny or force, but sex is not what I expect from mine, because I can have it in the time I want and with whom I want. I'm not a supermodel, but my physique usually attracts and so far I can say that no one has refused when I've applied for.

So strange is that "satisfy the Mistress" means many things other than sex? Personally I feel a great satisfaction when, for example, one of my slaves makes me feel proud of his advances, when his behavior is to my liking, when he offers me real sacrifices, when I have a bad day and he never leaves my side encouraging me with devotion...

Why Dominants men never are asked if they have sex with their submissives?
Dominas are not aliens and we have our instincts as everyone, whether sexual, sadistic, psychological, physical or eating ice cream at the North Pole.

It takes time to overcome a series of steps to consolidate a relationship, but if you come off the bat asking if there will be sex or pretend that sex is the only thing that will be, I'll go to the North Pole, I've never mastered to an Eskimo : D

David's book

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend with one of my puppies to the launch of "Soul in submission" by David Lopez Rodriguez.

Now that I have my copy signed, I'll read it and give my opinion, but I advance I will go in stride, because a bit later and without planning, we went to a party hosted by Domina Libertad.

We met a good number of members of FemDom and BDSM community of Madrid and had the pleasure to reconnect with a few who I appreciate and meet others. Always nice to put a face to those who I know you by internet.

There are no party's photos, as were many of us there and I respect the privacy of everyone, but David is a public figure and posed with me as you see in the picture. By the way, he is a very friendly and nice guy, just like his brother and family members that attended, to which I send a kiss and I hope to see soon, 'cause the second part of "Soul in submission" is underway ;)

Submission to convenience

Being submissive is not to be willing to please the Mistress in all those things you feel like she make you, but to be useful in all that the Mistress desired, required or needed. This includes services and sexual whims (or will be denied), but is not limited to this topic.

The Mistress plays with your voracity (I'm very much in favor of tease and denial) and adapts to hers, satisfying her instincts through manipulation of yours.

Whether your libido is satisfied or not, I do not want only a sexual submission of mine. I respect those who so choose it, but if you're mine, you're mine in a session, having coffee on a terrace or in line at the supermarket.

Another thing is that I infatuated with someone and use him for a while without major implications. But my sense of ownership and possession are not limited to the sexual level. And I say that not limited because neither excluded.

There are very illuminating phrases such as "I am ready to please you in facesitting, spanking, etc.." Are you willing to please me in what you feel like? Are you willing to be pleased at what attracts you?

How little I like practical listings and how much I like improvisation enjoy checking how far you are able to arrive ;)

Bigotry

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