Thursday without Taboos

It's Thursday and as announced a few days ago, this afternoon we have an event at Taboo pub, where everyone can play, talk, laugh and have a drink.

We start at 7pm. Wear as fetish as you want or just black clothes, it's always a good choice, although it will not be a strict code meeting.

It will be our second event in the pub Taboo, as we have received many requests to do it again during the week and afternoon schedule, so wish granted... See you there!

Newbie with fears, experienced wanting to play, inveterate shy or a completely extroverted?

You are all welcome to another party/meeting with The Oasis Of Sado.

My writing

Here I talk about me, my life, my preferences, my friends, what I like and what I don't like, what I find exciting and what I hate, what I think and feel, my slaves, my applicants, my romps, my parties, my projects ...

Those who know me well say that my blog is very me, a true reflection of me, without more Photoshop retouching than watermarks I make on my photos. Those who do not know me well imagine me and some dream about that Cruel Lady they follow.

Among those who do not know me, not even bother to read me, are often important prejudices against two key words: Financial Domme. And they have the right to refuse Financial Domination, of course, I do not force anyone to anything, not persecute anyone or, as some narrow minded seem to think, I don't go through life asking. I'm not a beggar, I am a Lady with a series of fetishes that I enjoy tremendously.

I assumed and became reconciled years ago with my sadistic and Dominant nature and learned to channel my Domination toward satisfying my instincts, enjoying my fetishes which, incidentally, are not limited to money, but cover a broad spectrum of exciting things.

Over time I put a sieve against both idle seeking me, not to waste my time doing things I did not want to do, ie entertain those seeking their own pleasure and see me as a mere tool to achieve it. I should clarify that masturbation is very healthy. If Domme agrees everything is fine, but if you do it with lies and not even communicate her, you are a scoundrel (and then Dommes get on us arrogant fame).

Anyway, I'll keep telling you snippets of my life, though I have also plans about this ;)

Social life

Yesterday I attended the Spanking event of Nasero (I am an enthusiastic Spanker). This was close to home and with nice people in a location not yet known (Taboo), so I did not think twice. And I had a great time.

So much so that in the course of the party, NeFeR and I agreed with the owner of the place to do right there the celebration of International BDSM Day, that is, on Thursday, July 24.

And tomorrow event in the dungeon, this time we join the international Gay Pride celebration and dedicate this issue to our party, although the Oasis Of Sado never make distinctions regarding the sexual identity of anyone and, as always, I emphasize on the dungeon premises you can do all kinds of practices or just take a drink chatting with attendees.

I love you dare to come (we don't bite, at least not too hard at first, lol) and meet you in person; it's great to put a face to the people we interact online.

I'm thinking it's a long time ago I don't organize a contest here and the two you see on the Contests section were fun. I have not plenty of time, but there is always room for the things of the blog, so I will have to organize another one ;)

My stuff

You ask a lot how it is possible that each day I can think of a topic to talk about here, you say you're surprised by the volume of the blog and all the content it has.

The truth is that I don't consider on how, maybe because neither I know myself, I follow a sort of daily self-discipline to keep this up updated and try to do new photos, I know you like them.

Themes? Well, in FemDom and BDSM themes, practices and viewpoints are endless, but the truth is that some days it's hard for me to find a starting point so that it does not become repetitive.

Sometimes I start with a fleeting thought that goes through my mind and in the course of writing, I go changing the subject. But I always say what I think, that is immovable.

This blog was born without thinking too much about how it would be, maybe at first it was kind of a test to see what the host would have a space to express myself and parking taboos, taking every single post and every topic with the naturalness they deserve.

And this is the result that, even with some detractors, I know also has many loyal followers daily ;)

The Cruel arrogant

Last night someone told me that, reading my blog, it shows that I am very understanding and approachable. And yes, I am, I will not deny, but depends on to who, 'cause I am also arrogant, humiliating and direct. As in my first website, for example, because it is focused on other recipients.

I don't give the same treatment to all my slaves, just as I don't spend the same treatment to all the people I know: some are my worms I want to see grovel before me and wake my sadism, with others I maintain a more affective and close relationship... and I never cease to be myself.

You need to balance this duality that we all have and know when to apply one thing or another to whom.

Do not be deceived, not all submissive and slaves want the same thing. The one who needs to be humiliated not seeks my understanding or my sympathy, but all my cruelty ;)

It may be the case that there is no coincidence between what a submissive looks for and what he inspires me and, in that case, no agreement is possible, for I will not adapt myself to his wishes and, if he pretends to get being at my feet, he'll can not do it for long.

It's not easy to build a relationship in which the components are complementary, but that is not easy does not make it impossible, and when it happens, the experience is brutal.

Being

Sometimes my posts are of the most basic and I talk about things that are taken for granted, but I still see some other atrocity out there (and I'm not talking about solely on internet) that drives me to touch those topics that are not only basic but important as well.

And no, not everyone have to agree with me on my views, my opinions and my way of doing things, but here you read me, you read CruelDama, not UltraDomme or MistressCuddles (probably you'll find such Ladies on Facebook or any chat room).

I am proud to know where I give steps and humble enough to recognize my limitations, no one is perfect, but if I don't agree something, try to take up the subject in a respectful way, without naming names and giving my opinión.

I've been accused of many things, but I like myself :D I'm honest, I consider myself a good person and my personal ethics always accompanies me.

I know I awake many jealousies, but that I don't lose sleep. I don't seek acceptance from anyone, but I like to be recognized and respected by those I care.

I offer this free space to which anyone can access daily with content for which I don't absolutely charge any fee and involve my effort every day (that is not always easy to choose a topic, develop, translate and share on all social networks) and my time.

I am no prophet at all. I am a Domme who enjoys her life and puts her bit in spreading these things I have inside and I am passionate about.

To be a Financial Domme is not a stigma to hide. I am not ashamed of my fetishes, but boldly declare of them openly. Do not persecute anyone, I don't need to convince anyone of anything.

Nothing more satisfying than being myself, accept myself, assume and delight in my paraphilias and live in the way I really want to ;)

The mocking rogue

The rogue of some "submissives" is enough to write a book. Seriously, there are things that should be contained in a sort of Guinness Book of fakes.

I don't know if because of the effects of the crisis, at the proliferation of "Financial Dommes", these rascals make their profits in the ranks of the new female recruits. They resort to something as simple as awakening InstaDomme greed and take them from Skype to networks without spending a miserable penny with gargantuan promises.

The other day one of these rogues (he was pretty funny, it must be said), asked in a group of a social network if anyone has PayPal or Amazon (showing his irrepressible desire to make a transfer as soon as possible). Well, in just five minutes there were about fifteen responses like, "Hey, you dog, my PayPal is xxxx".

I could not help but smile, because I'm sure the rascal finished with a lot of Skype, Yahoo, WhatsApps and Kiks IDs, getting all the "humiliation" he sought from a bunch of deluded girls that sure gave him a good number of erections and some other completely free ejaculation.

He is not as stupid as he shows and, when he runs out of spree, closes that account and opens a new one to start over the round.

It's funny watching these things, but my concept of what to be a Financial Domme and a financial slave means is very different.

I advocate a book of anecdotes, it can be very entertaining, lol

Landing

Would be great if we were all amateurs Dommes, that all of us would have wonderful dungeons to receive you with an awesome wardrobe (that would be continually renewed magically), would be fantastic not having to pay bills or anything.

But we live in the real world, where Dominas we are real women, with basic needs and obligations as mundane as paying the electric bill, for example, wherein that Grey is just a fantasy and the vast majority of those who promise to serve forever not even have the courage to go on a real date. And those who may be presented in person expects us to fulfill all their demands in return for the pleasure they will provide us (note the irony), very limited pleasure because, of course, he is not willing to, he never would be given to, he ... he is a so smart guy that wants it all in exchange for his blessed ejaculation, which is all that he finally surrenders.

If a Lady dedicates to BDSM professionally, might even seem like she is committing an unforgivable sin, when what that Lady does is live BDSM full time in her life (and the maintenance of a space, furniture, clothing and tools not born in the trees). Or partial if she chooses, that Ladies decide how they want to be their life, like others decide to stay on social networks looking for that silly girl to entertain them.

Nobody is forced to pay tribute, but neither Ladies are obliged to put up with your movie. Wouldn't be great that we all respect others and everyone live as we damn well?

I laugh when someone says we Femdoms (amateur or professional) have plenty to choose from, as not all are as I have described, but I assure you that most do.

Over a year ago in a radio interview (and this blog), I asserted that I don't consider myself a professional properly said, however, these twists and turns of life (and I don't hide I've done some professional session), I have absolutely no problem being considered as such. I'm listed in directories of professionals and, with the organization of events, my life is increasingly linking with BDSM professionally. And not only I am not ashamed at all, but I am delighted to be part of that group of Women with guts to make their life what they want! :D

Do not want a tribute involved? Very nice, but then ... why do you insist? :)

Who does she think she is?

I live with the prejudices of the people every day. I'm used to be judged and true atrocities are said about me without bothering to know me.

It's no news they smile me in public, and even tell me how beautiful I am, starting malicious whispers as son as I walk away.

But CruelDama finishes knowing it all :) There is a phrase full of rage, that gives title to this post: "But who does she think she is?". Today I will answer.

I am a woman who knows what she does, consistent with her convictions, living the way she wants to, that speaks her mind just as she thinks (and that doesn't mean to be rude, it is not necessary). I am an assertive cheerful woman and I always look for the positive side of all, a mature Lady with a whole life lived and a whole life to live, a woman with flaws (and aware of them), a tolerant Lady with defects of other, a friend of my friends, fetishistic, possessive, sadistic...

I am all these things and many others, but... you know what? I Like Me :)

BDSM or not

Who decides what is BDSM and what is not?

We constantly hear (and read) mutual accusations and absurd judgments among people who don't share the taste for some practices. Yesterday, without going any further, someone raised his nose and with an astonishing contempt, mocked a non-submissive masochist, reproaching him for precisely he is not a submissive (as if the boy had no right to be what he is).

There are so purist (or so close-minded) people that forget BDSM is not only Domination and submission. Where are those who are just fetishist, masochist not submissive, those who are sadistic and masochistic at the same time, Dominant non sadistic, non-sadistic Dominant, those who enjoy bondage and immobilizations without more ...?

Is BDSM only what is within SSC? What about those who subscribe to RACK? What about supporters of meta-consensus? Are these non-practicing BDSM?

Everyone has the right to be and do whatever we want. If you don't like what the neighbor does, learn to contain your intolerance, the neighbor is not going to force you to think like him, and if he tries it, let him know your stance with assertiveness. Belittle what we do not understand or things with which we disagree, only generates negativity.

The strange thing is that precisely those most critical of all that is out the parameters of what BDSM is for them, are those who complain of misunderstanding from vanilla society and advocate a normalization of "their" BDSM. And I think it's great that everyone fight for what you want, but I don't need to normalize anything, I love the touch of clandestinity and morbidity :)

And more cliches

Yesterday someone was surprised 'cause one of my slaves wrote in my profile that he loves me. She asked me why I consent he displays such feeling towards me publicly.

After laughing for a while, I asked if nobody loves her and why it might be. I dropped the subject, because I'm not going to get into a surreal discussion and, honestly, I don't care the answer, mine were rhetorical questions.

Not only I consent, but I'm proud to be adored, cherished and loved by mine. I think, somehow, all Dommes cultivate certain feelings in our slaves, encourage they worship us and enjoy their devotion.

Do I have to hide my pooches love me to give an image facing the public? I refuse to do it. Who handles my relationships is me, just as it is I who makes decisions on them. I will not pretend or hide things for others to see how cold and distant I am. I am when I have to be, not when I'm supposed to be. Because, Ladies, I decide that too :)

It's wonderful to live one's life, enjoy it and squeeze it the way we want. And, by the way, my slaves know exactly what their place is, even those with whom I maintain an affective relationship. Why put limits on myself? That would be pretty inconsistent.

Aesthetic prejudices

What craze we have to underestimate (or even despise) what does not conform to the general aesthetics canons.

If a woman is not a pretty girl, is an old woman? Well I don't regret my age, I'm proud of all the experience I have acquired over the years.

Is that there are no really beautiful plump women that we praise only top models? A short woman is unless than a tall woman? My bitch ​​is chubby and it's a pleasure to see her :D

Are we so shallow that we don't see beyond the physical? Where are these submissive souls of those you presume when you reject a Dominant Lady with an overwhelming personality but whom you flee because "she's not so hot" to go whining over chats and social networks whimpering about there are no Dommes?

To build a relationship requires a mutual feeling, but is that feeling given only in the event that the Domme is a gorgeous to boast to? What a nerve you have.

There are Dominant Women (many) that give many turns to other beauties that, if dropped from the whip, kill themselves ;)

How long can endure a relationship with a pair of beautiful tits and wasp waist if there is nothing that motivates you a little more up, in her head? Hey, am not saying that all young and pretty Dommes be complete useless, no mistake, that there are a great deal of them with head screwed on. I'm talking about you, talking about prejudice, nonsense prevent you to enjoy sublime experiences with magnificent Ladies who know what they do.

One last question: Have you had a good look at yourself in a mirror? ;)

Typical cliches

There is an urban legend about the bad relationship between Femdoms.

Well, if you believe in the girl in the corner, is "normal" in your head there be place for such hoaxes. Mental suggestion is amazing. I myself use it often :)

However, I have a wonderful relationship with Dommes worldwide. It's what happens for being me, not who I am supposed or what some people want me to be.

The tendency to beaten cliches is quite common, but if you give court this kind of nonsense, I guess you would have to also approve other like "all submissives have lack self-esteem," right?

It's like when we stress that of "I have nothing against prostitutes, they are great people." Let's see ... there are wonderful prostitutes and there are prostitutes very bad people.

It is true that sometimes we have to generalize for short or get lost in endless explanations, but sometimes cliches smells folding.

I like many Dommes, there are submissives with a great self-esteem, some prostitutes are insufferable and children don't come from Paris ;)

Money and Domination

I love reactions when you read me. There are them of all kinds: some you are surprised that I am so clear talking about anything, other you alter with my sincerity taking my posts as a type of attack to who know against what or whom, others you like what you read and even some discovers some other things.

You can agree with me or not, share or refuse my lifestyle, but this is my blog, not the blog of "a woman writing what you want to read to masturbate at ease."

And I know a few do it anyway, maybe because my words are exactly what you expect to hear/read, or because you go hot and a couple of suggestive photos end in that inevitable ejaculation, my vicious dogs.

What may surprise when you discover this space is that I am not the typical Financial Domme demanding money. Money, money, money... money fascinates me, excites me, awakens my instincts, I am passionate about the power it gives me when I demand it and get in exchange for what I want (maybe nothing). But that money you offer me is accompanied by many other things, although sometimes I take it from some pooch and want nothing else from him.

But my necklace is not for sale, my necklace means a lot of effort from you and fails the first to appear. And that's what matters to me. I reject your money if it comes on the heels of demands. That's no Domination for me, it is when I do my will. I don't conceive Domination if I have to adapt myself to exchange for money. For me it is not a transaction: no sell anything, no beggar anything.

I don't need your money, I just want it. Just as I want your mind, your will and your body :D

Living and letting live

Today I want to move this a little and tell a few truths :D

I'm still surprised that, in a community whose members boast of having an open mind and who complain of not being accepted by the masses (yes, yes, there are many cases of people who feel discriminated or something similar) has so many prejudices among own members.

This happens more in the BDSM collective in general, as I dare say that in FemDom there is no so many nonsense. Of course, I mean the real FemDom, from truth, not factions of lazy and scruffy "domes", those of which their whole philosophy is finished when they turn off the computer, or simply trying to poison the lives of others because they can not (or do not know how) live theirs.

Has always been "wannabes", people who memorize two or three concepts and constantly repeats in the absence of own arguments, people who imitates, people dying of rabies unable to measure up and is dedicated to criticizing, people with major complexes...

I tend to ignore antics, but that does not mean I do not see them, it happens that I normally classify what is important and what is absolutely expendable. But today I want to shake the rats nest, lol.

It is quite significant that in all my life I have never been attacked, criticized or maligned by vanilla people and yet at our subculture I often elusive nonsense. Where is that open-mindedness? Or are just words to complaining about what you are misunderstood for being different? Different to what, to whom? I consider myself very average and, as I say, I have never felt misunderstood. The fact is that, basically, I don't need everyone understand and accept me :)

Perhaps the day we all learn to enjoy our own life is not necessary to inspect the others.

Agree a blackmail

Don't know if I did not express clearly or that some are very short of mind. Well, actually I do know :)

To all those who don't know how to interpret what they read, I clarify them that no, I don't submit to blackmail all my slaves. If you would read carefully, you would see I say that is a couple of months ago I have no pooches in those terms.

It's a practice reserved for the few and, like any other, I don't want to do it with everyone. In fact, none of the slaves I already have inspires me a blackmail, just as I don't feminized all my properties and I don't desire more 24/7 servants than the bitch that occupies that place.

Each slave brings me different things from the others, so I like to enjoy a stable and do what I feel like with each. But that doesn't mean I am a collector at all, I prefer quality to quantity. Always.

To reach a blackmail you must be prepared for it, have the fetish of being completely controlled and knowing that any misstep will mean a risk you will have to evaluate whether to take.

I demand the signing of a contract detailing all my privileges over the slave, the type of penalties that could be applied in the event of default and, of course, an end date of contract in which the slave can renew or terminate the agreement.

As you see, there is complete previous consensus where everything is agreed. Logically, if your preferences don't please me, there will be no agreement. And vice versa, 'cause his surrender will never be forced, he voluntarily choose to undergo.

I have no problem to speak openly about all of these things though, of course, I keep the most personal and private aspects ;)

Money, money

It would be wonderful to say that I do not care money, that for me is secondary, as I read out there, right? But it would also be a lie. Perhaps the day it ceases to be one of my fetishes I do, who knows?

What I find peculiar is to see some ranting against Financial Domination while allowing submissives pay the dinner, accept gifts and even call us prostitutes and then orders remodeling their rooms, tiled and floors included. Payable by submissive, of course, lol. Or those who assent to the judgments of the above and then I find them on MoneyDommes sites :)

Oh, if CruelDama spoke many myths would topple!

I never liked hypocrisy. I prefer to go straight. Moreover, it is a pity that my phone company, my tobacconist or my beautician don't be moneyslaves. Although who wish to please me can always adopt some of my bills, that we are not going to be prudish now (of course, provided there are no conditions and you may have very clear who rules, otherwise do not bother).

Why beat around the bush and lies? I really do care money, is not "all" I care, certainly, but neither is secondary to me. What did you expected that a MoneyDomme tells you about money? :)

Manipulating

I read over there exposures about the dangers of falling into the hands of a manipulator. Even strong statements about who should avoid BDSM and who should not based on the potential damage that may occur.

Let's see... I consider myself a great manipulator, but I specify I do NOT accept someone with obvious mental imbalances on my stable.

I enjoy psychological sadism, not just physical, that is, I like to take a slave to mental suffering and that such slave enjoy (and suffer) that state.

As adults in full possession of our mental faculties (and in pathways that WHO uncatalog as mental illnesses the "paraphilias" associated with BDSM, although personally I don't need the approval of any group or organization to know that what I do and enjoy is not abnormal), we are free to choose what we want.

In forums and debates is often ignored the figure of the emotional masochist, that person who enjoys the psychological suffering and that his way is as valid as any other member of the BDSM community.

The submissive is responsible for know to whom he surrenders, so I think so much victimhood is unnecessary. And when he is aware of to whom he surrenders, he wants to do it and the Domme feels a connection with that submissive and accepts such surrender, there may be situations of risk that both have to take even before they appear (even taking a number of basic and logical precautions). You can not live in cotton if what will mean your happiness involves risk.

Manipulation exists at all levels. When a mother threaten her son with "if you don't pass the course I'll not gift you such a thing" is manipulating, but that does not mean that such manipulation is harmful, quite the opposite.

And what about submissives? These great manipulators who must be constantly controlled :)

I have already dealt with this issue in previous post and I stand by my statement: I love to pull the strings.