Traits

We seek strong emotions, that "something more" we don't find in the vanilla world. For many people a conventional relationship is enough, but others need to go beyond the syrup and apple pies.

When I was not aware of something called FemDom, tried to stifle my instincts and ended by thinking I was a freak, because the behavior of the women in my environment was very different from mine and my tastes were shocking for them (and not just in sexual field).

There are several anecdotes in my teens I jealously concealed considering that bitterness of being "different" (and bearing in mind that those were different times, today things have changed).

For example, when leaving the high school dining room, I used to lock one of my fellow students in the toilets. Without resistance he followed me everywhere smiling and was my accomplice in physical discipline I imposed on him there almost every day. I came out of there sweating, but relaxed and happy, to the afternoon classes, where I erased the whole episode from my mind.

Precocious sadist? Definitely yes, because there were many other anecdotes before and after that, that if I had a little more information, wouldn't caused internal conflicts as I had by that time.

And today, no trace of misgivings, accepting myself as I am and enjoying it, I keep looking for that intensity in each of my relationships. I respect other preferences, but I have no pure vanilla relationships for years, I chose to live what I am because that's how I really feel good.